A Look at Life

2008-01-12T02:08:00.000-08:00

Now that the post-holiday stupor has worn off, I feel that I should write a new post. It's been an interesting handful of weeks, folks. I can't really give details, but it was fun, it was tiring, it involved an almost nauseating amount of home-cooked food.

I think what stands out in my mind is going northward to visit with my father's mother's family. They're a fun bunch, them. And with so many great relatives, with so much awesome food, going home hungry was not an option. They literally wouldn't have let me if I tried. Heheh.

On the subject of writing, the sixth chapter of Ageless is still underway. If you're interested, in the meantime, you can check out my new webcomic, By Night Unseen.

Anyway...I'd best go now. I'm tired. Truth in all things, everyone.

RPGs, Space, and the Sony PSP

2007-12-21T04:00:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me, who talks with me for an extended period of time on the subject of video games, knows that I’m a fan of role-playing games that allow the player to become the character he or she is playing as. This is especially true of the RPGs made by software-development company BioWare. I think it started back when I first played their Knights of the Old Republic, an RPG based on the Star Wars franchise. It told a beautiful tale of the battle between good and evil, of love and hatred, of teamwork and betrayal.

Though the second KotOR game was developed by Obsidian, BioWare continued to make phenomenal games; Jade Empire was, to me, KotOR in ancient China. I do not mean to say that the story is, in any way, not on par with that of KotOR. I mean to say that the gameplay is almost identical. BioWare’s latest game, Mass Effect, is everything I had ever wanted in an RPG. I’ll make you a list of all the things this game has going for it:

1.) Complete player customization – yes, you can actually build yourself into a character for this game.

2.) Awesome story – okay, maybe not ‘awesome’. But really freaking epic.

3.) Space – it’s a space-oriented game that has absolutely nothing to do with Star Wars.
It doesn’t get cooler than that.

4.) Dialogue – you don’t get to choose your character’s line, but you do get to choose his/her emotion and then hear the character speak!

5.) Gameplay – this is something of a new thing for BioWare’s RPG line. The battle system is real-time, with guns. Frantic firefights abound.

And that’s it. But isn’t that enough to classify it as a truly amazing game?

You may be asking yourself, “Where’s he going with this?” I must confess, I have been trying to lead up to a point. That point is this: These RPGs have a gameplay system that I think would carry over very well onto a portable system such as the Nintendo DS or the Sony PSP, especially the PSP. If you ask me, I think it’s far past time for BioWare to put such an RPG on one of those two handheld systems.

Now, they are currently working on an RPG based on Sonic the Hedgehog; having already had this idea back in 2006, I can’t say I’m surprised by the move. I do, however, hope sincerely and with all my heart that they don’t fuck it up.

What I’m trying to say is: Come on, BioWare. Cut the crap and put a game on the PSP.

More about my beliefs...

2007-12-18T18:58:00.001-08:00

Anyone that knows me knows that my ideas occasionally shift to accommodate the new arrivals in my mind. This means, in essence, if a new concept comes into the vicinity, I try to find a place for it in my current thought processes. If it doesn’t fit, I do not discard it as some might think I would.

I instead create a new thought process for it to fit into. I then toy with it, change it, warp it, just to see how well it responds to severe analyzing. If it breaks or snaps under the pressure, then I discard it.

It’s not about knocking the ideas I don’t like. It’s about knocking the ideas that don’t make sense to me.

I guess in a way, I’m continuing my rant on religion. Only this time I’m doing it with a clear head.

I’ve never found any personal truth in the Bible; I’ve tried. I have a feeling that if I read the Koran, I wouldn’t find any personal truth there either. I find truth in the love of my friends and family, and the stories I create. I find truth in this world, and not any all-powerful deity. I follow the lead of a deity that is not all-powerful, but kind and caring. She has a great sense of humor, too.

Yeah, that’s right, I follow a goddess. Her name is Mara. Go ahead and gawk.

She doesn’t make me adhere to a strict set of laws, but does guide me, gives me gentle nudges in the right directions.

Yeah, I know. It’s weird. I don’t think I care.

Futurama is BACK!

2007-12-04T08:41:00.000-08:00

Ladies, gentlemen, everything in-between, this is IT. This is the single greatest moment in geek history.

Friends, the greatest television program ever written has been pulled out of retirement and has been renewed.

That's right.

Futurama's back.

Don't believe me?

Watch the clip.

Chapter Five!

2007-11-10T22:34:00.000-08:00

Once again, I've outdone myself. I may not have finished it by my goal of October 31st, but it is finished and it is good. So, without further ado, I present:

Chapter Five of Ageless: The Burning Book, Part Three: The Flames of War. It's the final part of the Necronomicon sub-plot; this one, at any rate. I'm fairly sure that the book will make another appearance or two, if the chance presents itself.

Grave Miscalculation

2007-10-30T19:43:00.000-07:00

Due in large part to a serious case of writer's block, the fifth chapter of Ageless will not, as my previous assertion stated, be online by tomorrow. I don't know what's stopping me from writing it other than the fact that I don't know how to bring the characters from point A to point B in a timely, simplistic, and overall heroic fashion. So, rather than kill myself getting it done by tomorrow, I'm just going to complete it at my leisure.

I'd also like to take a moment to direct you to the previously-unmentioned links section, and its contents. They are listed in no particular order, but I frequently visit each of them. I hope that all two of my readers will as well.

Friday Nights

2007-10-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

So, earlier this very night, my wonderful girlfriend, Katie, and I went to a fair at a school in Slidell. It was more of a carnival than a fair, I must admit. Regardless, once Katie's saint of a mother dropped us off there, I knew I had made a horrific mistake.

This mistake, friends, was in my choice of footwear.

As you may or may not know, I usually wear the odd-looking shoes called Crocs, the "off-road" variety. Today, however, I was in the mood for a change, so I decided to wear my steel-toed faux-suede loafers. Direct proof that hindsight is 20/20: In my pre-date air of bliss, I forgot that those particular shoes are not good for walking, and also forgot that the main component of a carnival/fair-thing is...walking.

So, after standing in line to buy tickets (which, despite what we were told by the lady at the enterance gate, were only good for rides), after playing a handful of games (I won my dearest Katie a stuffed tiger)...my feet...fucking...hurt.

After a brief pause on a triangle-shaped bench, mixed with a small discussion of our mutual paranoia regarding Ferris wheels, we walked around a bit more. We stumbled across my dreaded nemesis: The tilt-a-whirl.

Tilt-a-whirls are meant to debase one's physical balance, by seating one in a metal dome attached to a small metal track; the small track is attached to a much larger track, along with a half-dozen other small track/metal dome combinations. When the ride begins, centrifugal force spins the metal dome around the small metal track whilst the metal dome is also being forced in the direction that the larger track is spinning.

Ever since a bad experience with such a machine in the second grade, I have done everything in my power to avoid them.

So great was my loathing of these infernal things, that when Katie started pulling me toward it, I nearly took my overshirt off to escape.

However.

So great was my love for the wonderful Katie, that I had no choice but to concede. I rode the frigging tilt-a-whirl.

Chapters Three and Four

2007-10-17T00:14:00.001-07:00

All right, then, folks; the show is now truly underway, as I've finished and posted the third and fourth chapters of Ageless. And now, I give you...links!

Chapter Three: The Burning Book, Part One

Chapter Four: The Burning Book, Part Two

Overall, not the best work I've ever done, but passable by the standards I've set for myself. The third and final part of The Burning Book will be up soon, I promise. Before the end of the month.

Quick note about religion.

2007-09-26T04:32:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I cannot, in good conscience, call myself a Christian. I have made the conscious, out-loud decision that I have a personal god; I do not believe in the Bible. In fact, I disbelieve any "holy texts" for the reason that I fail to see any discernible logic in them -- not only that, but it has been said to me that I should believe all of the Bible or none of it. Does the Bible not tell me to kill animals in sacrifice to God? Does the Bible not tell me that women are inferior? I'd go on to list other things that are quite wrong with the Bible, but I'm tired.

The fact of the matter is, I believe that so-called holy texts are wrong. The Quran, the Bible, all of them -- wrong. Dead wrong. I refuse to believe in a god that would cast a person's soul to eternal suffering for being in love with a person of the same gender! I blatantly, out-right, refuse!

There is no "true" religion. I once questioned whether it's action or faith that determines where one is placed in the afterlife. I now have my answer:

It's action. Human morality will redeem humanity.

ADDITION: I'd also like to add my thoughts on a Hell scenario to this little post. The idea of an eternal Hell is fundamentally flawed; the purpose of a Hell is, undoubtedly, to punish the wicked. This, I do not dispute. I do, however, find that a never-ending punishment is a moronic idea. What good is a punishment if the one being punished is never given a chance to put what he or she has learned from the punishment to use?

No comment.

2007-09-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

Crave Online: Funny Videos, Sexy Videos, Music Videos, Movie Trailers, and More!

No comments need be said.

TV News

2007-09-18T02:47:00.001-07:00

There's one thing I've noticed, watching nationally-televised American news channels: They rarely report any legitimate news, instead choosing to rant and roar about which celebrities are currently with child, or are about to go to prison, or any number of nasty things. And when they do report on real news, it's either false or stilted in favor of the political/religious/social views of the benefactors of the channel in question. Call me old fashioned, but shouldn't televised news be used primarily as a way to keep the average viewer informed about the workings of the government that they blindly support?

Judging by the content of the FOX and CNN news networks lately, apparently not.

I'm not saying that I could do any better, because I know for a fact that I can't. I'm too damned opinionated. But the truth, the cold, hard, solid-as-fucking-steel Truth of the matter is that a fair percentage of Americans rely on anchors at news desks to spoon-feed them political debris from the left and right wings of our Eagle, and never bother to listen to what the beak is saying.

I'm not even going to bother mentioning where the politicians themselves factor into this lovely comparison.

My hand hurts.

2007-09-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, my hand is in pain. Not dire pain, but persistent and nagging pain. It isn't broken, it isn't sprained, but it feels like a constant cramp. Why is that, you ask? I've been filling out job applications for the past week, which is a fairly repetitive motion (since I'm putting down mostly the same thing on every form). Hopefully the pain in my hand will subside before I actually get a job.

On another note, The Comic Pirate is one of the best blogs I've come across. Which reminds me, I'll be putting a links section up fairly soon. It'll include various blogs I read, interesting websites, and other things. Keep a look-out for it.

Chapter Two is Up; Chapter Three is on its Way!

2007-09-10T23:22:00.000-07:00

As the title suggests, the second chapter of Ageless, lovingly dubbed The Truth about Cats and Gods, is up on Ageless' FictionPress page. 7 typed pages long, in a 10-point Arial font, it's my longest chapter yet. Sadly, though, the third chapter won't be up anywhere near as quickly; it's going to require actual research, thinking, and envisioning. I'm planning three major action sequences in it. Wish me luck, folks.

Sláinte, everyone.

Summertime Blues

2007-09-06T17:05:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not quoting an infamous good-time song.

I heavily dislike summer. It isn’t the heat, as most would be quick to assume; no, I can handle the heat. It’s the thunderstorms that spring up every other day, it seems. They make bright lights and big loud scary noises, and sometimes they even do it without rain.

Thunder and lightning without rain? Seriously, that just isn’t right.

Which leads me to another point. About a week ago, the day before my birthday, nearly half of my town lost power. We’re still not entirely sure why, but we’ve speculated that somebody tried to wrap their car around a power pole. But regardless, the day before my birthday, half of Pearl River (which, admittedly, isn’t saying much) lost power for most of the day. My dad and I ended up going to Slidell, a slightly larger town not far from PR, to get away from the un-air-conditioned house. We saw Rush Hour 3, which wasn’t quite as good as Rush Hour 2, and nowhere near as good as Rush Hour. In fact, if it weren’t for the fact that Jackie Chan has a penchant for doing over-the-top action scenes, I’d have just as soon not seen it. But the power, thankfully, came back later that night. Then went out again, for twenty minutes. Then…came back again. That’s when I went to bed, because at that point it was simply annoying.

I've Done It!

2007-09-03T03:35:00.000-07:00

After four years of planning, countless hours of jotting down notes and getting all the plot points straight, I am pleased beyond words to announce that the first chapter of my brainchild, Ageless, completed and up on FictionPress. So, without further ado, I give you Ageless, Phase One, Chapter One!

In many ways, this is something of a scary milestone for me. Ageless is the story that I've had stewing in my head since I started writing. I want people to read it, to give me feedback on it, but...I don't want to screw it up, as I often do with my writing. But I took the leap. And at the end of the day, isn't that what really matters?

Sláinte, everyone.

Holy cow.

2007-08-31T21:06:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how long I've left this blog in a state of lonesome disrepair. I suppose, on this milestone of sorts, a long post would be in order to explain what I've been doing for the last year or so. Here goes.

I turned 18 on the 25th of August. Before that, I graduated from high school after a bit of a rocky senior year. I've gotten more serious about writing, and have devoted two full hours a day to the practice. I've gotten deeper into sword collecting, inducting at least five more blades (I count sets of two or more as one). And to top it all off, I am still with Katie, and am still very much in love with her.

Now that the short version is out of the way, there are a few things that I feel I should go into detail with. Um. Uh. Well.

Okay, yeah. I said should, didn't I? Didn't say I would...mostly because I can't. The things I'd like to go into detail on, I can't remember in detail. I'll try to keep this blog going, though.

Sláinte, everyone.

Talent? You be the judge.

2006-09-28T18:57:00.000-07:00

Click for a better view.

I got bored today and wrote this little two-stanza poem based on the absolute stupidity of war in any form, whether between two world powers or two kids on the street.

Again, please click for a better view.

I didn't write this one. It's from a song based on the Irish potato famine, called The Fields of Athenry. I happen to really like the song, and even used this as my PC's background for a short while.

The point of this post? Mainly just to say, in as few words as possible, "Photoshop's my bitch."

This is a new one..I did this for a friend, Matt, who wrote a poem through Death's eyes. That's only a small part of it, though - if you want the whole thing, ask. I'll see if I can get him to let me post it.

2006-09-18T21:22:00.000-07:00

This is Katie, the girl you've heard me jabbering on about endlessly. I just thought I'd give you a look at what all the fuss is about.

Oh, if you're wondering about the half-smile on her face, I kinda caught her off-guard when I was taking this picture. What can I say? I have a penchant for the more candid variety of photograph!

I like taking pictures. I'm not going to pretend I have a future in it; it's just something I like doing that puts my mind at ease after some stressful classes. My new camera helps out as well, it being so sleek and shiny and powerful.

Now, these two crazies are Matthew Stretz (top) and Desiree Graham (bottom). Don't they just look like a great couple?

Yes, Matt's wearing a leather jacket. Near the end of September. Don't ask why - he has no reason, other than that he likes the way it looks.

Brilliance!

2006-09-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

A friend directed me earlier today to a website called FictionPress. It's a publication site for original works of fiction...and I can use it to publish my book!

I've almost finished the first chapter, then I can polish it and then put it up on the site. I'll be sure to link it when I've done so.

So..not really much to report, sorry. School is draining me.

One Week

2006-08-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

Well, the first week of school is over, and I'm worn out. Not really from school itself, but simply from lack of sleep. On the plus side, though, most of my friends are still alive, and crazy as ever. Desi's still hyper, Matt's still loud, Timmy's still distracted, Robby's still stupid, and me...well, I'm stuck with 'em, for better or for worse.

And then there's my schedule. This time around, I acutually like all my classes! The ones that aren't fun are interesting, and there's even one that's both! Yes, this year looks to be pretty good.

And I've reunited with Katie, the girl of my dreams. A conversation I had with her gave way to a backup plan of sorts...if it turns out that I can't get into college, I'm going to take a job wherever I can. Maybe, after a lot of planning, I'll take out a loan and start a business of my own...a video game store. A good friend of mine is currently majoring in mathematics, and he too loves video games. It seems as though things are looking good for this plan of mine. But if I can get into college, I will, and maybe I'll still start that store. It's always been a dream of mine.

Eh-heh.

2006-07-31T02:12:00.000-07:00

Eh-heh. Deepest apologies for my silence lately. Things have been…hectic around here. School starts in exactly two weeks (August 14th), my birthday is a little under a month away (August 25th), and I’m incapable of sleeping. Go figure.

As a general rule, I’ve never really counted the days until the end of summer. But I did this year. Why? Because I am dreading the return to the hallowed halls of knowledge. Sure, it means reuniting with friends that I couldn’t contact over the break, and no more being bored out of my skull during the week. But it also means waking up at frigging 5 AM, skipping lunch in lieu of the slop the cafeteria tries to pass off as food, dealing with idiotic classmates, classwork, homework, studying, tests, quizzes, exams, and the ever-popular torture known as “the looming horizon”. Also, I failed three of my classes, so my chances of graduating in 2007 are all but shot.

In short, I’m probably going to end up breaking my own leg to get out of it for a week.

I guess the reason I’m so worried is that my 17^th birthday is 25 days away, not counting today. Another year older, another year wiser, another year closer to being the old man in the neighborhood that threatens small children with a water hose and smells vaguely of a cross between old cheese and fresh mildew. I really – REALLY – do not want to be that man. But unless I get my ass in gear and do something this year, what I want may not be a significant factor.

See, it’s thoughts like these that keep me up at night.

And then there’s the heartburn. And the crappy mattress. And the trains that pass by my home so close that I can nearly shake the engineer’s hand. All of these things have rendered me sleepless in Pearl River. Doesn’t make much difference now, of course, but when school starts; it’ll start taking a toll on me. Ugh, how did I ever let things get this BAD?!

This is just a quick entry to let those who care know that I am, in fact, not dead. I am simply progressing toward death at a frightening – sometimes sickening – pace. Take care, everyone, and think well of me should I fail to return.

Grrrr-aarrrggh!

2006-07-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

My computer is slowly driving me insane.

It's pretty badly fried. It'll turn on, but nothing else. I plan on trying to fix it in the morning, but for the moment I'm blogging from the laptop - which sucks.

But it's not a total loss. Gives me a reason to clean this landfill I call a room. Oh, and before I forget, I have a picture of mysef for all you bloggers out there - you know who you are. ^_^

That's me on the left, a friend on the right, and a bit of my good friend Matt Stretz on the far left.

Midnight Musings

2006-07-06T01:36:00.000-07:00

After a brief chat with Katie about life after high school, I have reached an important decision. I must - MUST - make something of myself!

Knowing her, being around her, I'm happier than I've ever been before. I need to be able to give her the life she wants. I need her to be happy...even if it means she's not with me.

Grrrr.

2006-06-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

I. Hate. My. Computer.

Three guesses as to why.

Sorry, time's up. It's because of my network card, the little piece that makes my internet connection happen. It's been in a state of non-functionality on and off for the past couple of days, so I think something may be wrong with it. I plan on switching it out with my father's soon to test that.

But enough about my terrifying troubles with technology.

I found myself getting some blood drawn today, and it was rather annoying. When the nurse couldn't find a vein in my right arm's crook, she went to my wrist. Then to my left arm's crook, where she finally managed to get the blood needed for the tests - four medium tubes' worth. And people ask why I hate hospitals. Also, for the blood I lost today, I was still capable of functioning on barely three hours of sleep. Granted, I had a lot of sugar-loaded soda, but the fact remains.

VACATION TIME!

2006-06-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am in Alabama, blogging from my Aunt's computer. It's a bit on the slow side, most likely due to the Dell logo on every piece of technology attached to it. But that's not important.

What is important is that in the time I've been here, I've learned quite a bit about my family. Specifically, my grandfather. Apparently, I'm not the only one that's seen his bad side. My Aunt Beverly has, as well. See, when his first wife had two daughters, he divorced her for some reason and married her FIRST COUSIN, my grandmother. To top that off, he neglected his first two daughters; as far as I know, he never paid child support or anything.

To make matters worse, he also neglected my mother, albeit to a much lesser extent. Not only did he often lie to her, he also had a very violent dispostion. He once pushed my aunt up against a wall because she picked the wrong vegetables from his garden. He also lied to my mom, saying that when she graduated from high school, he would buy her a new wardrobe. To the best of my knowledge, said wardrobe has never changed hands.

Then, after my mother's death several years ago, when my father and I moved in with my grandparents, it seemed as if history was repeating itself. My grandfather never hesitated with a harsh word to either of us, but was always hesitant to share a kind one. Also, he cheated me out of a hard-earned $80, which I should have been given for helping him with a week of yard-work. But, alas, said money has not yet reached my pocket.

He is a very controlling man. He likes to surround himself with people that will listen to him no matter what. I am ashamed to admit that I used to be one of those people. But not anymore. I have long since lost any and all respect for the man, and should I ever leave Louisiana, I will share my anger with him...as well as take my friggin' $80.

God says, "Honor thy father and mother." Unless I miss my guess, 'grandfather' is not included anywhere in that Commandment.

Anyone have any opinions to share?

Relationship

2006-05-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

Biggest news I've got at the moment: MY EX AND I ARE BACK TOGETHER! WOOHOO! She had dated another guy after me; I somehow ruined it without even being there. She said that it hadn't been mutual, and all she could think about during the date was me. Anyway, a couple days later (yesterday), she and I were sitting at the table we hang out at and she just brought it up out of the blue: "Do you ever think that maybe it just wasn't the right time for us?"
"Every single day."
"Wanna give it another whirl?"
I was dumbstruck. Of course, I took a moment or two to ascertain the truth of the question: she was, indeed, asking me back out. I had to say yes. So, once again, Katie Trainor and I are a couple. I love her.

Anyway, as with the last few personal entries, I'd like to shamelessly plug my comic again. Down with Pacifism!

Lightsaber Duel

2006-05-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

This is some kind of great, eh? I just love the special effects...kinda inspires me to finish my Star Wars fanfiction.

So tired...

2006-04-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

So very tired...but alas. Sorry for the lack of updatiness...been busy with school stuff and haven't had much time for personal affairs. At any rate, I can now proudly say that I have worked out most of the logistics of my novels...now comes the hard part. The writing.

Under normal circumstances, I'd be elated to begin a project of this magnitude. The only difference now is that I've done it four times already. Each time, I've made an error with my computer and lost it all. I have bits and pieces printed out, but I don't want to retype it all, so I'm going to rewrite it all. That sounds easier, I think.

Whatever happens here on in, I'm saving it all (on the hard drive, on zip drives, on flash drives, on CD-RWs, and on floppies) and I'll be working on it whenever I get a chance. This does not mean that my comic or other writing will take a hit; on the contrary, the two will go hand-in-hand. The more ideas I get for either, the more inspired I get for the rest. I quote AC/DC: "Back in black, I hit the sack / I've been too long, it's good to be back". It's my theme song.

For the ranting portion of this post, I'd like to issue a complaint about Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block of shows. (For my overseas friends, if you don't know what I'm talking about, Adult Swim is a bunch of cartoons using adult humor.) Anyway, Adult Swim has decided to start airing 80's-90's blockbuster Saved by the Bell. While I would normally be happy to hear that the show is back in syndication, it both scares and confuses me that it will be on a network that primarily runs cartoons and other animation. I will be wary of this news until I have further evidence.

Visiting

2006-04-02T04:17:00.000-07:00

I got a call Thursday from my Aunt Beverly up in Alabama. She asked if I wanted to visit her and spend some time up there. I willingly accepted - if for nothing else than to get out of town for a few days.

But then I got to thinking - what do I really know about this person? I know she's my mom's half-sister. That's all I know. I suppose, then, that this visit is a chance for me to get to know a woman that I only met once (and I believe that was at my mother's funeral).

To be fair, I think it'll be kinda fun spending time with a relative other than the local ones. More on this as it develops.

Sore Throat, Comic, and Church

2006-03-29T21:48:00.000-08:00

Ever have a sore throat so bad that it hurts to even breathe? Well, for the moment, that's where I am. It hurts to breathe, eat, drink, and sneeze. It pains me to sneeze. Do you have any idea how amazingly annoying that is!?

Anyway, I moved Down with Pacifism to a site called DrunkDuck.com. (Again with the shameless plugs.) I beg of you, kind reader, visit my comic. Leave a comment. Do something. Please, I need readers!

Now, all things being equal, I just need to say that I've never cared much for going to church. That's not to say that I don't worship - I just prefer to do it in my own way, on my own time. I realize that may seem extreme to some of you, and I understand where you're coming from, but let me say my piece. The main problem with organized worship, insofar as I'm willing to go, is the fact that, no matter what the sermon is about, I find myself constantly being reminded of my own problems, and I just don't think that's what worship should be like.

Don't get me wrong; I am a Christian, and will be till the day I die, and then forever after. But that doesn't change my opinion concerning the above. I would like to hear from you on this matter - a fresh perspective is always welcome.

To Nothingness

2006-03-24T01:22:00.000-08:00

As I lie awake in my bed, I think on exactly where my life is headed. True, it's been one HELL of a ride so far, but what if it were all to end tommorow? Who would finish my book, pick up my comic? Does the decision REALLY fall to me, or is someone else going to step in? Would that make me anything more than a pitstop that these ideas touched on their way to completion?

...Too many questions for one freakin' night...

My Eyes

2006-03-13T20:26:00.000-08:00

Visited an eye doctor this afternoon. I have a new lens perscription (which I need to get filled), and I learned a lot of useful info. It seems that I have something that's called a nystagmus. The doc said it shouldn't impair my ability to drive, as long as I take the necessary precautions and also take the learning slow. So, if I work hard at it, I'll be driving by next year.

Uh...

2006-03-12T20:06:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Been somewhat busy with my new medium of sprites. It's fun, and addictive once you get used to it. Now, if I could just get people to visit my comic (shameless plug), I'd be okay.

I really don't have anything to put here, other than news of exam week and LEAP (Louisiana Educational Aptitude P-something) coming up. I'm gonna die; these tests are going to kill me, skin me, and eat me raw!

Sprites? Me? Why not!?

2006-03-08T20:23:00.000-08:00

Nothing to be said that I can't say through my new avatar...(click on the picture to read what I'm saying...please? Come on, just once? Please?)

UPDATE: I've decided to give up on 16-bit sprites and focus on the easier 8-bit sprites. They are easier to recolor and place, but at the sacrifice of diversity. In taking to this medium, I have decided to try and start a sprite comic, entitled Down with Pacifism. If anyone out there would like to help me find a way to get it onto the Internet other than through blogging, I'd appreciate the help.

Something Truly Random

2006-03-07T17:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, it appears that what I said yesterday may have been a bit of a fallacy. My connection seems strong and reliable as ever, although I may as well be severing the wire by saying that. Anyway.

I'm closing in on the end of one of my bigger 'small' projects, and I can't say that I'm particularly happy about it. I mean, I love my characters, and to see their stories draw to a close just saddens me. I suppose that I could always go back and write more, but the fact of the matter is, then ending of this one is pretty final.

And once again, today, I found myself sidetracked into something so incredibly stupid that it bears repeating. My friends and I were arguing about who would win in a fight between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Superman. Of course, knowing as I do the backgrounds and capabilities of each, Superman wins, hands-down. But one of my idiot friends kept claiming that the 'mystical ninja-powers' would best Big Blue. And I, being the moron that I am, dragged my own superhero into the mix. Yes, I actually subjected poor Max (a.k.a., the Silver Syntho) to that hideous torture. I'm sure that he hates me now.

To explain, I should start by saying that I view each of my characters as a separate entity, a 'life-form', if you will. They then take on their own personalities, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses, and I eventually lose control over them and can do little else but document their lives as they tell them.

And, to further explain, Max is a huge Superman rip-off. (The original Superman, that is. If you recall, originally Superman couldn't fly, just jump really frickin' high.) But that's not to say that Max doesn't have powers of his own. He can expel pure energy from his hands (in the form of both a constant stream and single shots), he is a master of every Martial Art in existence, and he has a huge sword. Any questions?

Anyhow, the conversation took an odd turn after that (ha!). My friends took to calling Max (whom I introduced as his alter-ego) Spongebob. And, of course, Max piled the blame onto me. Once I had set them straight by having them call him by his given name, they tried to tell me that Superman and the TMNT would kill Max. Guess who got blamed for that one.

I then cited the fact that Max had killed Zeus, of Greek mythology. That struck a pretty big blow, since TMNT had never killed anyone, let alone a mythological deity. And as for Superman, let's just say that Max has...questionable connections (which means he can get his hands on any amount of Kryptonite he wants), and has no qualms whatsoever about killing.

-Operative TSS, Signing Off

Internet Issues

2006-03-07T02:33:00.000-08:00

This may be my last post for a while, due to...a general lack of Internet connectivity.It's been sporadically going in and out for the past couple of weeks, and this is one of the few times that I've been able to pin down a steady connection. And, apart from checking my e-mail, this is pretty much all I'm doing with it. Sorry in advance to anyone who reads my stuff.

-Operative TSS, Signing Off

Wasps

2006-03-04T19:32:00.000-08:00

There is currently a large wasp flying around in my living room. At the moment, I'm holed up in my room, prepared to wait while my dad locates and kills/frees the thing. But that's not the point of this post.

When I was small, I was stung by a wasp. On my eye. That event not only contributed to my eventual near-blindness, but also my intense fear of any type of insect. I'm serious, if I so much as see a bug flying around, a shiver traverses my spine. I can't help it.

Confession

2006-03-03T10:52:00.000-08:00

I might as well come out and say this...I'm an atheist. A sports atheist, that is. What I mean is, I don't normally take sides when it comes to sports. There are only two well-known teams that I ever root for, and those are LSU (Louisiana State University, College Football) and the Braves (out of Atlanta, Georgia, Major Leage Baseball). All the other sports, like basketball, soccer, pro football, I really don't care about, but I'll watch if I can't find anything better to do.

Another One of Those Days

2006-03-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

I was sick again today, but I planned to use it to my advantage. I planned on cleaning my room. I planned on studying to catch up on what I inevitably missed. I planned on at least doing some writing. But alas, no - it wasn't meant to be. All I ended up doing was laying in my bed, messing around with my PSP, and halfway beating Mega Man: Maverick Hunter X.

I love being lazy. I find that it helps me relax more than was once thought humanly possible.

In other news, famous rapper MC Hammer has his own blog now. Now, I've never been a big fan - hell, I thought he was just another one-hit-wonder. But his writing style...it blows me away. Reading what he writes makes me want to listen to some of his music.

Wow. Is this what it feels like to have an open mind?

PSP plus net...

2006-02-25T18:26:00.000-08:00

...equals GOLD!! I'm posting FROM my PSP right now, hence the oddness of this one.

In other news, it's officially Mardi Gras here in the southern U.S. For those of you that don't know, Mardi Gras is basically a series of parties meant to offset the feelings of limitation brought on by the Catholic tradition of Lent (I think).

Meh. Looking back at this post, I realize that using the PSP for text input is REALLY impractical! It uses a cell-phone like method of entry. It takes me fifteen minutes to type one measley sentence! This entire post? One and a half hours. I should just use it for surfing!

Liars?

2006-02-24T23:17:00.000-08:00

I just saw Galaxy Quest (the space movie starring Tim Allen), and it got me thinking about fiction and fiction writers. All we are, are really good liars. We lie on paper, in print form, for the sake of entertainment! As I continued on this train of thought (with few stops along the way), it set me on a completely different track. God tells us not to lie, and that any who do so without being sincerely sorry for it will be punished. Now, I'm damn proud of my work, and no matter what, I will not be sorry for it at all. Following that logic and assuming it's true, I really am going to hell!

...I scare myself sometimes...

Finally, an inkling of truth

2006-02-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine just brought this to my attention - it's a Globe & Mail article stating that video games keep the mind young, and help in quick focusing on different tasks: "A body of research suggests that playing video games provides benefits similar to bilingualism in exercising the mind. Just as people fluent in two languages learn to suppress one language while speaking in the other, so too are gamers adept at shutting out distractions to swiftly change attention between different tasks. A new study of 100 (one hundred) university undergraduates in Toronto, Canada, has found that video gamers consistently outperform their non-playing peers in a series of tricky mental tests. If they also happened to be bilingual, they were unbeatable."

Now that is what I call food for thought. Here I was for three whole months, trying to come up with a reason that gaming is productive, and now it slaps me in the face. And that last line makes me think I should start paying more attention in Spanish class. Anyway, now that we have some solid facts on our side, I think that the gaming community actually has a change against moronic jack-ass politicians!

What the hell!?

2006-02-19T16:49:00.000-08:00

I just spent the day with a good friend of mine, and near the time I was getting ready to leave, he said, "Hey, did you hear about Sabrina?" Sabrina is my older cousin. Of course, since I haven't heard from any family for almost a month, I had to say no. "She's getting married!"

I don't know what happened. I think I started hyperventilating - I dropped my phone. I couldn't think, I was too blinded by rage; unsurpassed, unsupressed rage, pulsing, filling every inch of my being. I started shaking, bent over to retrieve my phone, and asked where he had heard it, to which he responded that it had come directly from my uncle. My uncle is a pretty laid-back guy, but I don't think he'd joke about something like this.

Just to be clear, I don't have a problem with Sabrina getting married. Hell, I'm happy for her. What I do have a problem with is that i had to hear about it secondhand! I can understand if my family's still holding a grudge, but to not tell me about something this important is just ludicrous!

For the moment, I'm pretty calm. Calm enough to type this entry, at least. Tomorrow morning, I'm going to speak to Sarah (my other older cousin, but younger than Sabrina), and I'm going to get the truth. I don't know what's going on, but I'm gonna find out.

UPDATE: Welp, that's that - I know it now, Sabrina is getting married sometime next January to the older brother of a guy in a few of my classes. My grandmother called my home today and told me. Odd that she'd do that on the day after I already found out, but at least she told me.

Movies

2006-02-17T19:38:00.000-08:00

Just bought a new movie. Cowboy Bebop: The Movie - and though I've seen it once before, it still kicks major ass. It's an anime, based on a series from the late 90's, but it doesn't fit anywhere into the continuity of the series. But it doesn't matter, it tells a story of its own.

As I sit here watching it, I start thinking. The more I hear from the villain, the more and more this story sounds like it's based on the work of H.P. Lovecraft. He is a man that is decidedly crazy, though he speaks as a rational person. He feels as he is dreaming when awake, and awake only when dreaming. Arguably, this is also the way that Lovecraft felt when going through his 'Dream Cycle' phase.

As well, the action of this movie kicks uber-butt. Like many Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee movies, there's over-the-top fight scenes, and unlike many of the same, there're also a few air-chase scenes, and quite a few shootouts. Gotta love the way that anime can do what live action can't - blood and gore without limit. Gotta love it.

World Travel? Hell Yeah!

2006-02-14T16:38:00.000-08:00

As one can plainly tell from reading a bit through my blog, I'm an American, though sometimes I yearn for someplace else, anyplace else. Lately, though, I've begun making a list of places to visity if I ever have the money. First on that list, of course, is dear ol' Ireland. Second, Japan, for their sheer techiness. Third, Canada - specifically, Newfoundland. Fourth, Australia (don't really know why). Fifth, Great Britain (I have a friend across the pond).

I don't know what got me on this kick, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. I mean, I don't want the American culture to be my only influence. I want to see the world, I want to know what it's like to see the sun and the moon and the stars from the other side of the world, I want see in person what I've only seen in textbooks and in movies and on the web.

Video Card and Formatting.

2006-02-12T15:49:00.000-08:00

Recently upgraded to a new video card (Radeon X800, pretty sweet - at least it's a marked improvement over my previous one), but got a wee bit too giddy when I was messing around with the net on my new graphics. One word: adware. It slowed me down to a crawl and I had no choice but to grab a few choice files (some music, some links, and some documents) and wipe my hard drive. And so I commenced operation Clean Slate.

I'm not sure why I don't like formatting my hard drive. I guess it's just because I hate reinstalling my device drivers, as well as re-downloading all the programs I had used. For instance, Firefox. It's time-consuming, as well as annoying as a hyperactive chihuahua, and to be honest, I'd rather be spending that time playing a game or writing. Bleh.

Regardless, I got it all done (in less than an hour, too), and I'm working on getting it all in top working condition right now. Kudos, everyone.

Quote

2006-02-07T18:20:00.000-08:00

I was browsing through the web (as I so often have when bored), and I ran across a quote that seems as if it would come from the grim reaper himself. I don't know where this came from, be it the imagination of the person that posted it or from some book or movie, but here it is.

"When the first living thing existed, I was there waiting. When the last living thing is gone, my job will be done. I'll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights, and lock the universe behind me as I leave." - Death

I just found that cool.

Term Paper - Almost Finished

2006-02-07T15:06:00.000-08:00

Well, I managed to write four pages of term paper today, so at this rate I'll be done the rough draft by Friday and should be able to hand in the finished product on Monday. I swear, I think I'm going crazy.

And to make matters worse, my dad and I are both sick now (him much worse than I), and there's no way I can miss another day of school without getting expelled. Also, if my dad takes off work again, he may very well get fired. This won't be a good week.

one of those days

2006-02-01T00:14:00.000-08:00

Ever have a day when you plan on getting a whole lot done, but end up accomplishing squat? I had a day like that myself today. I was trying to lay down some key plot points (an outline of sorts), and got sidetracked into a list of what one of my characters can and can't do with his powers. It wasn't entirely unproductive, but it wasn't what I was aiming for.

It's days like this that make me glad I'm a writer. If people see me in deep concentration working on a piece, they don't bother me - they already know what I'm doing. Of course, they don't truly know - I've never given anyone a straight answer to describe the book and I never plan to. It's not justifiied now, but it will be when it gets published. Then I can say, "If you want to know what it's about, go read it!"

On a side note, February 2nd is coming up soon (this Thursday). If you've read the Cthulhu Mythos, you know of this important date. It is (supposedly) the day that Cthulhu contacts the creative minds of the world in an effort to not only make his prescence known, but also prepare for his rising. I don't believe any of it, but it will be interesting to see if anything odd happens that day.

On another side note, I find it amazing just how far I can stretch my mind in terms of creativity. I draw a bit, I sing (but not well, mind you), and of course I write. But the writing is what shocks me. I have written in many styles - too many to name - and have written on a variety of subjects. From roommates that hate each other to a little boy that gets stuck on a fence, from a journalist rekindling an old relationship to a man taking revenge against a double-crossing neighbor, from a roving demon-hunter to a cowboy chasing down a corrupt general. I've been there. I have had those experiences. In a way, I have been each of these peope.

I suppose that's all for tonight. I should probably get to bed. Good night, bloggers.

Faith

2006-01-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

Those of you that know me, know that I am a devout Christian, a Methodist to be exact. Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my religious beliefs. I sincerely believe that God loves me no matter what, but it astounds me more than anything that he can love my borderline-heathen self. I haven't attended a service in forever (at least before Katrina), my book is nearly blasphemy (there are multiple religions present as well as true, thankfully including Christianism - one of the deities, Zeus, gets killed), and I swear more than I could ever atone for.

These questions, in turn, bring up even more questions. For instance, is it okay if it's just fiction? I mean, I don't think any of those religions as real (they exist, I understand that, but I don't follow them). I've never read the Bible (let's face it, it's really boring), but I'm pretty sure that most of the concepts I use in my book directly defie the word of God. Does that make me a bad person?

I like to think of myself as a good person. But recently, I've had trouble trying to draw a line between what constitutes good and what constitutes bad. If a man is a Satanist, but he devotes his life to helping people, is he still going to go to Hell? If a man is an extremist Christian, but a serial killer, does he still get into Heaven? I guess what I'm getting at is, do actions or faith determine where the afterlife is spent?

Sick Day

2006-01-26T06:44:00.000-08:00

Meh, I feel like complete and utter crap today. I can't breathe through my nose, my throat is sore, and my head is freaking killing me...to make matters worse, I think I need a doctor to write an excuse for me...I'm so screwed...

Well, on the bright side, at least I can get some research done today. That's always a good thing, and something that I desperately need to do.

Valentine's Day

2006-01-22T21:32:00.000-08:00

With every passing moment, we draw closer to what has become my least-favorite of all holidays - Valentine's day. I'm sure I don't need to explain why I hate it so much. But I hate it more than I hate my math class. And that's saying something. I guess that with all my bitching here on blogspot, I've never really taken time to think about the positives of being single. No spending money on dates, no worrying about looking at women, no spending money on Christmas/birthday/Valentine's gifts, no more worrying about relationship issues...holy crap, most of dating is monetary! Perhaps that's why I had such a hard time with it - I'm broke.

Jack Thompson

2006-01-20T21:41:00.000-08:00

I might as well get this out there - I think Jack Thompson is...not an idiot, per se, just...well, okay, yeah, he's an idiot, tried and true. To be clear, Jack Thompson is a lawyer from Florida, who has decided to wage a one-man war on the video game industry. He's fighting a losing battle there, eh friends?

Anyway, the point is that I have long been inwardly debating how best to bitch-slap this moron. I've finally decided to laugh it all off and ignore him. It's obvious that he ain't getting anywhere, otherwise I'm pretty sure I'd have heard more about him on the news and whatnot. From what I know about him, he makes erroneous claims about certain games without ever having played said games. That, my friends, was his first mistake. His second mistake was ever thinking that he could take on the video game industry.

You see, once you take into account all of the people employed by the industry, and then take into account all of the serious customers, well, the way I see it, you're staring down the business end of half a country! We can stop this jackass, no doubts about it! He began an anti-video game association (if I'm wrong about this, somebody please let me know). To respond to that, I say we, the geeks and gamers, the nerds and nutcases of this country, form an ANTI-JACK THOMPSON ASSOCIATION! DRIVE HIM OUT, SHUT HIM UP, WHATEVER IT TAKES!

Comment if you're interested, or send me an e-mail at mlancejohnson1@juno.com or contact me over AOL Instant Messaging at TheSilverSyntho, or Yahoo IM at the same. I need recruits, and lots of them. I'm completely serious about this thing. Give me hand here.

And Jackie boy, if you're out there in cyberspace and you run across this little post of mine, I humbly ask of you - go to hell, you sick bastard. The video game industry is an idustry like any other. Mess with it, you mess with the economy. Go screw yourself, Jack! We will fight you, and we will WIN!

Heart Attack #2

2006-01-19T17:46:00.000-08:00

In computer networking, I was letting Dominic listen to my iPod, some metal or another, when all of a sudden, McDaniel walks over to him and picks up my hardware. I'm instantly hyperventilating because, just yesterday, Beaushaw told me that teachers were going to start cracking down on CD players and the like. So, Dominic turns it off real cooperative-like, hands it over, and gives me that old 'I'm-sorry-I-screwed-up' look. I shrug it off. "It's no big deal, I'll get it back at the end of class," I say. And so I did. But the point is, am I - or any like me, for that matter - really safe in school anymore? I mean, I'm a geek. I can't live without my technology. The public school system, in its entirity, is threatening to make my kind extinct. Taking my tech away from me is like taking the pen away from the writer, taking the sword from the noble knight! I am left weak and defenseless, and the best I can do is beg for my blade to be returned to my metalically-engloved hands!

I suppose, of course, that to truly understand my point of view, you would need to be a geek in my school. Now, to be fair, I understand confiscating electronic devices - if - and only if - they're disrupting class. What I was doing wasn't disrupting a damn thing. We were fixing computers, for crying out loud, a task so unbelieveably boring that some good old fashioned metalhead music is the only thing that can liven it up!

Multimedia Productions

2006-01-18T17:07:00.000-08:00

Now that I've dropped Chorus (I felt it was time for a change), I'm free to persue other extra classes. For instance, I'm in the Multimedia Productions class. It's freaking awesome. We hardly ever do anything, so I'm free to read in class, and then there's my favorite thing - I'm the one in charge of churning out scripts for my group's videos. Not a bad thing to get into. Not a bad thing at all.

Also new this semester - 2nd hour English, 3rd hour Chemistry. My English class is now small enough for me to concentrate, as is my chem class. This might actually be a good semester for me, if I could actually get some damn sleep. I don't know why, but I'm incapable of sleeping at night. Maybe I'm an insomniac.

Odd Dream.

2006-01-15T15:18:00.000-08:00

Last night, around two A.M., I was in bed, half-asleep as I normally am at that hour. I was nearly out, when all of a sudden, my entire house started shaking. I heard thunder, the shaking went on for a few seconds, and then it was over. I checked my iPod's clock for the time to make a mental note, but forgot all about it until a few minutes ago. When I asked my dad about, he couldn't recall anything like that. So now I'm stuck with two possibilities: either I'm going apeshit, or my dad's an extremely heavy sleeper.

Or could it have actually been a dream? Even I have to admit, it seems a little too crazy to have come from my mind, and we don't get many earthquakes here in Louisiana. Plus, a railroad track runs right by my house, so maybe I had a dream to rationalize the slight shaking that the train caused. But if that were true, it wouldn't explain the flash of light or the thunderclap. If I have another dream, I'll know that there's something going on in my brain.

God damn it, I am going crazy.

I am so F&%#ed.

2006-01-14T15:26:00.000-08:00

I just dropped my cell phone. Down the toilet. Don't bother asking how or why I had my cell phone in the bathroom, even I don't know. But the fact remains that when I tell my dad, he's going to kill me. I am going to die.

EDIT: Scratch that. Just told him. He didn't kill me. However, he did throw the disabled phone at me and told me that if I ever did that again, he'd shove whatever I'd disabled up my ass. Well, it's a damn sight better than death, right?

A Short Essay: Love.

2006-01-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

In every man’s life, there occurs a time in which one realizes what he has to do, and understands what must happen to make that happen, and also what the results will inevitably be. For most, that time, whether it is a moment or an extended period, comes in the form of overwhelming odds or a life-threatening situation. But for some, it comes in the form of a statement, or in my case, a startling revelation.

At this point in time, I do not feel comfortable telling of my revelation, or even who or what was involved. But suffice it to say that it solidified, in my mind, the belief that I have for so long held: There is no such thing as love. My entire life, I have had only two relationships. Both of those ended very abruptly: One was using me, and then moved away. The other dumped me.

It is with great sadness that I pen this short essay. For, at this very moment, I resign to put a lock onto this heart of mine. It pains me almost beyond words, but I ignore it and write on. I have tried to ask out other women since my ex, and I could continue trying, I suppose, but it would inevitably lead to the same damn thing. Rejection. Of course, one day I may find love, but for now I vow to stop trying. It takes courage that I don’t have and I reap only sadness. And speaking of sadness, I’ll let you in on something.

Every day, I see this beautiful woman that I have loved for nigh on three years and every day, I have to force myself to feel nothing for her. It does not feel good, friends, it does not feel good. And I don’t even know why I love her. Could it be simple infatuation, stretched beyond comprehension? Could it be that I feel some kind of sympathy, or seek some from her? Or is it possible, somewhere within me, in a place that is unknown even to myself, that I actually do love her? Maybe I’m just an idiot. Yes, that seems like the most logical thing.

Ka-w00t!

2006-01-11T20:01:00.000-08:00

Big news: MY LOVECRAFT BOOKS CAME IN TODAY! SO HAPPY! I'm so pleased to be reading the work of the father of gothic horror. It was the best sci-fi in its day, and in my opinion, our day. First, I'm reading the Cthulhu Mythos stories, then I'll go with the "Bloodcurdling Tales of Horror the Macabre" or some-such title, and last I'll peruse "Dreams of Terror and Death". Yeah, I know, a couple of really morbid titles. But the guy's famous, and I need to read at least a little bit of each type of science fiction if I'm going to be a successful sci-fi writer.

Well, now that exam week is officially over, I can start relaxing. But not for long. It's not like there won't be work next semester. There will be, and probably a lot more of it, but I'll work harder. I'll try to get more sleep, and try to pay attention in class more. Well, I think that'll be all for tonight. I should start reading.

Dear Lord, I'm Tired

2006-01-10T15:21:00.000-08:00

Well, exam week is almost over, and the worst of it is out of the way. All I have tomorrow is chorus, basically a blow-off. Two hours of free time. I was kinda hoping my Lovecraft books would come in today, 'cause the measley excuse for a novel I've got now just ain't gonna cut it.

So, now the question becomes - should I rush and do research on some old composer guy and write an essay on him, or fail chorus? I mean, I'll be honest, it's just not something I'd ever be able to do. I'm fine with writing; hell, it's not just a hobby, it's my way of life. But I can't write with restrictions. I need to be free to write whatever I want to write, feel what I want to feel, do what I want to do. Plus, I'm tired as fuck right now and need a lot of sleep if I want to function like a normal human being tomorrow.

Now, as a half-Irishman, I feel comfortable using quotes and quips that originated in that country. I also feel comfortable listening to their music, and enjoy spreading it like a virus to others. Although, occasionally, that action has subjected said music to ridicule and laughter from several of my classmates. You know what? FUCK THEM. They don't like it, fine. To me, it's the best music in the world. To each his own, I say. But do they leave it at that? No. They start trying to get me to listen to 'real' music (I.E., Metallica, rap, hip-hop, punk). All the while, I'm realizing, 'hey, these people are pricks, get away from them as fast as you can'. So I do. Now I hang out with people that accept my tastes in music. Now, if only I could get them to stop making fun of my taste in video games...

Cthul-who?

2006-01-06T18:02:00.000-08:00

Ugh. Sorry about that, it'll be one of the only times I'll use a pun in the title. Posts are still fair game, though.

So, I've been doing research on Cthulhu, one of the Great Ancient Ones, which first appeared in the writings (ramblings?) of H.P. Lovecraft. Now, since the mighty Wikipedia can only do so much, I decided to get the info from a more...direct source. I ordered three Lovecraft books on Amazon, and will begin reading as soon as the damned things arrive. In the meantime, I have begun work on the chapter in which all of my characters go up against Cthulhu and his daughter, Cthylla. See, that's how I work - an idea pops into this skull o' mine, I find a place in the continuity that it fits into, and I go to work. Yesterday in school, managed to churn out five and a half pages of pure greatness!

If you know anything about Cthulhu, please, feel free to comment. Please, I'm desperate here!

Another year.

2006-01-02T19:58:00.000-08:00

Another year has come and gone, dear friends
Now's the time to end your starts and time to start your ends
We find ourselves feeling stupid over meanial and trivial things
But we forget that that's our nature - we all are human beings!

When the time comes, I think we'll all see straight
We'll cast aside our material things and accept our fate
Our lives are coming to close, yet we try to maintain
We can't live forever in this, but yet we mortals strain!

Heh. Like it? So do I. Just started working on it a few minutes ago. It's a poem (if you can't tell that, you're an idiot) and it's based on the new year. Came to me all at once, hit me like a phone booth!

Good haul this year.

2005-12-27T22:46:00.000-08:00

Whoo, that was one HELL of a Christmas! Got a few good presents, and if I had had money, I'd have given a few. Among the bounty was a video game (Serious Sam 2, a review will soon appear on my other blog), a dagger, another driving lesson, $30, and false hope. Check it out, I took some pictures of my dagger:

Now, just to prove that I know what I'm talking about, I'd like to describe to you the feeling I get when I look at/wield this knife. In the scabbard, it's a bit heavy, but in a good way. I get the feeling that I could probably knock someone down without even taking it out! When it is out, however, that feeling changes. I go into a ninja-like frame of mind, even though the beautful, intricate patterns would indicate that it was probably made to follow a Celtic design. Anyway, my mind wanders - taking me with it, of course - to me, perching on a roof, ready to assassinate an unsuspecting victim when he/she comes out of the building.

Heh. I said 'ass'. Twice.

The scary thing is that this is actually the way my mind works!

Weekend's Coming

2005-12-15T17:39:00.000-08:00

I sit here in my chair and look back not only on the past week, but also the past year. The reason I'm doing this now is that I won't be updating for a while.

Key Events of 2005: I got hooked on webcomics. I developed a taste for school food. I got back into writing. I developed a taste for good whiskey (Southern Comfort). I purchased an iPod mini - never ever do that, EVER - iPods are evil, Macs are the devil in PC form, and to uninstall Windows, you need an exorcist. I got published for the first time in my life via my school's anual publication, The Pearl. I got dumped by the only woman I ever loved. I purchased a leather jacket. I learned how to drive (okay, so I'm still working on that one, sue me).

Resolutions: Drink less. Swear less. Eat less. Exercise more. Study more. Sleep more, just not in class. Do more good. Hate less. Love less. Finish book if it kills me.

Firefox vs. Internet Explorer

2005-12-13T15:05:00.000-08:00

I just downloaded Mozilla Firefox, a web browsing tool similar to Interent Explorer, and I have yet to find a striking difference between the two. I'll update as soon as I do. In the meantime, could someone tell me what's so damn great about it!?

EDIT: Scratch that, I know what makes Firefox elite. You can open multiple websites within the same window via taskbar-like thingies underneath the address bar. IN OTHER WORDS, IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE IT, DOWNLOAD IT! NOW!

Splitting Up

2005-12-10T01:34:00.001-08:00

In case you haven't noticed, I've deleted the several 'video game' posts I made. The reasoning behind this is simple - I've created a brand new blog, this one dedicated to video game reviews. (http://gamingingold.blogspot.com) I will now be posting personal/ranting posts here, while I post video game related items there. Now on to the actual post.

This weekend, I learn to drive. I've been meaning to for the past year, but I always get sidetracked. But this time, my resolve is absolute. I WILL DRIVE!

Sam

2005-12-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

For those of you that don't know him, Sam Perry is the closest thing to a best friend I've ever had. After Katrina hit, he and his family took off for Tennesee. Now he's coming back. IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME.

Of course, he won't be back immediately. He'll return to Pearl River in late December, and he'll be back in school by January. Most of us look forward to having him back, even Dustin and Zack...although I think Zack just wants to torture him. I just want to introduce him to Desi and see what insanity ensues. Most likely he won't live through the day.

But I digress. The reason that Sam is so much of a friend to me is that no matter what happened, he was always there to help me...or kick me. Whichever I needed. I still remember that time I hadn't done my Spanish homework and he let me copy his in the wee hours of the morning, right before the bell rang. (Sam, wherever you are, I am still grateful for that!) Seriously, he is the only thing that kept me from failing Spanish miserably.

Combine that with the fact that he is my only link to Erin, a girl who was in the choir with me in my freshman and sophomore years, and well, I'm damned glad to hear that he'll be joining us again. And while I'm on the subject, let me tell you about Erin. She was a sweet girl, very kind, very generous, but in all honesty, not my type. However, she did everything she could to save my soul. Because she did so, I could not help but love her. To try and save me, an almost total stranger, tells me that if anyone ever deserved to be sainted, it's her. I wonder how she's doing right now.

Anyway, just figured I'd document this. I'll need archives one day, just to prove I'm not insane.

Tribunal of the Twisted Minds

2005-11-30T20:51:00.000-08:00

If I sound a little weirded out, that's because I am. I just talked to Andrew (who's up in Seattle presently), and he got Kate to help him with the research and copyright things of his webcomic. Due to Andrew's bad grammar and spelling, he and I decided that I should read through and edit each script he writes. It's a pretty good system, we just got done editing the third script.

What freaks me out is that the three of us are working together toward a common goal. Without trying to kill/maim/shoot one another. See, Andrew and Kate have never gotten along. When they weren't yelling at each other, they were trying to kill each other. Or they were eating. It scares me to no end that these warped minds can join together in realative peace, and come up with a story as good as what we had.

As soon as the comic is up and running, I'll be sure to post a link!

Whew.

2005-11-26T00:22:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's late. I can't believe my eyes haven't yet glazed over. But I need to update, so that I won't lose track of this momentous occasion. After months of owning a PSP, I finally managed to put video on it!

See, I downloaded an episode of Nickolodeon's latest, greatest animated show - Danny Phantom - I realized that I wanted to finish watching it but I also wanted to go to bed. So I did a quick Google search and found step-by-step instructions on how to transfer movie files to the PSP memory stick duo. Why I didn't do that in the first place, I will never know.

Anyway, the DP episode was too big, but I did manage to squeeze a couple of Looney Toons shorts and a Popeye onto it. It ain't much, but at least I know what I want - for Christmas, that is - a bigger memory stick!

I know what I want now.

2005-11-22T18:12:00.000-08:00

I want a chance. That’s right, a chance. Something you give someone on basis of trust, that they will do their best to make you happy. That’s what I want.

You see, after a less-than-lengthy conversation with Katie, I laid down on my bed and thought. I searched my brain, my heart, and parts beyond for answers that, ultimately, were not there, were never there. All it took was a little thought, a little intuition, and a little yelling by my ex. But I know now what I need, and it’s a bittersweet feeling. Because, as much as I know who I am, girls won’t see that. They see the me that’s fat, that’s ugly. And no matter what happens, that’s all they’ll ever see. Unless I show them otherwise.

I guess the reason I never got over Kate is that she never gave me a chance.

Oh, and Ron, whoever you are – thanks. You opened my eyes. You saved me. I’ll always be grateful for your kind words and insightful comment.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-22T00:51:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It's a time to say thanks for what we have, help those who have not, and eat lots of good food while watching football. This year, after Katrina, I should really count my blessings. The problem is, I have so much to be thankful for, I wouldn't be able to list it all. So I'll list my problem.

Item 1: Thanksgiving is meant to be spent with family, right? I HAVE NO FAMILY ANYMORE!

I mean, I have family, they exist, but I don't think I'll be welcome there anymore. I suppose we could visit my cousin in Florida, but we don't want to 'fish' for an invitation. What's left for us?

Football, friends. Sweet, sweet football. LSU should be playing this week, sometime, along with about a dozen other teams. And if nothing else, we can always rely on the old standby - AFV. For those of you that aren't loyal followers, that means "America's Funniest Home Videos".

Which brings me to another point. They're releasing AFV on DVD. The first season of the so-called Bergeron Era. Does that make any sense at all? I mean, there's no plot, so what's the point? Regardless of reason, I'll buy it. And before you call me a hypocrite, I never said anything about not purchasing, I just said it makes no damn sense. And it doesn't. At all.

Friends.

2005-11-18T16:53:00.000-08:00

So, I'm in the comp repair class, talking to Matt and Dominick and Josh and Zack, and all of a sudden, one of the idiots in wood shop - who we happen to share a classroom with - walks up beind us.

With a fucking condom on his hand.

See, apparently what these idiots do, is place unused (hopefully) condoms on their hands, up to the wrist, and then use a small opening to blow them up to enormous proportions.

This guy walks up behind us (spefically, Zack) and starts trying to touch us with his protected hand. Zack immediately uncaps his pen and shoves it right into the prophylactic. Of course, it pops on impact and the pieces scatter around the room. Afterwards, the idiot (hell, I might as well call him by his name), Will, starts trying to slap Zack.

See, that's what these morons do. They don't throw punches, oh hell no, they slap.

Well, Zack blocks, blocks, punches him right in the gut, and then aims a kick at Will's shin.

I witnessed something I never thought I'd see. A skinny, scrawny guy (who happens to be on the wrestling team) came close to beating up a large, buff guy (who happens to be a redneck hick). Hell, he only came close because Zack stopped! If he had kept on, I think someone would be in the hospital right now, there would be a table missing from the wood shop, and we would all be in police custody because there would have been a gigantic free-for-all: nerds versus rednecks.

Thank God he stopped.

Smallville Mystery Files

2005-11-17T19:07:00.000-08:00

If you watch Smallville with any consistancy at all, you should know that there are more unanswered questions than in a police station filing cabinet in the unsolved murder section. Therefore, it should not surprise me at all that in the few episodes I missed while Charter was fucking around with my cable, Clark apparently died, got revived by Jor-El, started dating Lana again, and a good number more things. Which leads me to today's episode.

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! For those of you who haven't seen the episode "Solitude", don't read the next paragraph.

Clark's Mom gets hit by a meteor or some crap. I don't know, I was getting a soda. Anyway, Clark goes to his professor, a supposed Kryptonian, for help, which he temporarily provides. He says that the only way to actually stop Martha from dying is to destroy what's left of Jor-El, which is in the Fortress of Solitude. They go to it to get rid of Jor-El. Chloe follows with news of Fine's earlier whereabouts. So, once she gets there via the key in the caves, Fine tries to kill Clark, then opens up a portal to bring to Earth a Kryptonian dictator name Zor. Chole saves Clark, Clark beats the living (or non-living, however you want to look at it) shit outta Fine, Fine lands on a large crystal, then disentigrates along with his ship. Later on, Clark tells Chloe that Fine was just a piece of Kryptonian AI.

That leaves a few plot holes. First - if he's a robot (can you say Brainiac?), how does he have Kryptonian powers? Was he designed that way, or did he put them in himself? Second - and this is more theory than anything - could Fine have been Brainiac? It makes sense, more than my original ideas.

If anyone's got any ideas, go ahead and leave a comment.

So...

2005-11-15T20:27:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in chemistry, just got done with my test, and suddenly - out of fucking nowhere - Stacy comes up and says, "C'mon, let's go finish the lab." I sigh, put my book up, and get up to help her. Jacob's still working and Jesse's not there. So I'm alone. With Stacy.

Oh, yeah, that could've gone better. My main input was limited to saying, "Yeah", "Mm-hmm", or "Uh-huh". Eventually - after we finish - I get up some nerves and ask, "Where're you from? Are you really Laura's cousin?"

When brought up the cousin line, I phrased it wrong. I should've asked if Laura was really her cousin. That makes it seem like I'm not really interested in Laura, but am still interested in family ties. Turns out, they are cousins.

I kinda like Stacy, I guess - she's sorta cute, fucking brilliant, and she's really sweet.

Do I really mean that? Or am I just desperate? Or both? What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I figure out my own damned heart?

Do I want to?

Salutations, friends. Let's have a moment of silence for what's left of my dignity.

Ah, Rejection.

2005-11-14T16:44:00.000-08:00

In case you can't tell from the header, Kate rejected me. Katie warned me of it, but did I listen? Hell no. I mean, why should I have? After all, it made me feel good to get all that baggage off my chest.

Now I'm free. Free from emotion, free from commitment, free from feelings...in short, my life sucks. But I love it.

Is that crazy, or just stupid? Maybe both.

Anyway, I'm taking a sabbatical from the dating world. For now. I may one day delve back into it, but not anytime soon.

Until then, I hate Mondays.

There's no point in waiting.

2005-11-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

Come Monday, I'm going to tell Kate I love her. (Well, I'll ask her out an any rate.) It can't be that hard. I mean, why should it be? We've known each other for two years, we've got a lot in common, she's a beautiful girl, and I'm...well, I'm me.

This might be harder than I thought.

You know, after my experience with Katie, you'd think I'd be better at these things. But I'm not. I need help; serious, professional help.

But for now, all I have are you bloggers. If anyone out there has any advice for a cowardly 16-year-old guy who desperately wants to ask a girl out but is too damned afraied to, chime in any time. Thanks.

Love. I think I'm in it.

2005-11-11T18:16:00.000-08:00

And here we are, the end of the week. Time sure does fly, doesn't it? Ah, but that's not the point. The point is that, today, I had an experience that I won't soon forget - a vision, if you will. Kate was sitting on the table we all sit at, and was complaining about being short. I said, "You can't be that short." Of course, I had forgotten her true stature. So we stood up and, lo and behold, she was about half a foot shorter than me. While we were standing there facing each other, we made eye contact, and as I looked into those pools of clear gray water, I just wanted to take her in my arms and hold her. That's it. I didn't envision having sex with her; I didn't even envision kissing her; just...hugging her.

Question: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?
Answer: I think I'm in love.

Don't laugh - I'm in a very fragile state. I want to, need to, talk to her and tell her how I feel. Thing is, as I've stated before, I'm a coward. So speaking of feelings (especially to the person whom those feelings are of) is like walking on hot coals. I mean, I've seen those Buddhist monks walk on coals, due to their intense concentration and years of mental training. But can they talk to Kate Elfer and not stutter and/or chicken out?

I'm not sure. But I wish they'd train me. Because making Kate mad would probably hurt worse than walking on coals.

Sometimes, I just wanna scream!

2005-11-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

Have I ever mentioned that I can't sing? No? Good. That means that now's the perfect time. I cannot sing for anything. Yet, here I am, in the chorus. Does that make any sense? Any sense at all?

Well, guess that's not necessarily true. I can sing, I'm just a coward, and therefore am incapable of singing. I hate it. I hate being a coward. I mean, if I weren't such a coward, I might have had a date tonight.

Speaking of dating, let me give you the lowdown on my love life (if you can even call it that). There's Katie Trainor, my ex-girlfriend (she dumped me because she didn't love me and felt it unfair to me). Then there's Kate Elfer, a girl I've known since my freshman year and I think I love (I SWEAR IF ANYONE TELLS HER THAT I WILL KILL THEM!) - she's also in the Writer's Club and I.E. (Intellectual Eclectics) with me. And then (these just keep piling up don't they?) there's Desiree (French for Desire, but if you tell her that she'll tackle you) - she's in the chorus with me and draws a comic in which the Devil is gay. Then there's Stacy (I'll be damned if I can remember that last name) - she's in I.E, that's all I know about her.

That has got to be the longest thing I've ever posted.
Speaking of posted, I'll be sure to keep you posted.

Spyware & Adware

2005-11-10T16:47:00.000-08:00

Listen up, you adware & spyware jerks; this one's for you. I want you to realize that no matter what happens, all you do is tick people off. That's it. No one with any common sense ever clicks on ads, and if they're lucky, they can get rid of the program(s) before any permanent damage is done.

This also goes for viruses, spam, and anything else I've forgot to mention.

You know what else gets on my nerves? People who post stupidly. Hey, idiots! Lesson one:

Your
A word showing ownership.

You're
A contraction meaning "You are".

You
Are a damn illiterate.

FIRST POST OF NEW BLOG!

2005-11-09T19:49:00.000-08:00

Better make that first post of first blog. Hi, my name's Lance, and I'm addicted to video games.

Pay attention - there will be a quiz at the end of class.

My friend Zack had me talking to this girl that I have never met, but talked to for five minutes last year. He's telling me to ask her out - of course, I'm swearing at him left and right - and eventually I cave and ask her. We know nothing about each other, so I start describing myself. Rather than embellish as I normally would, I tell the truth. (5"4', a little round, glasses, acne galore.) Given all that info, you'd think she'd have something to say about herself. But no. This is what she says: "I'm short...extremely short...brown hair, skinny...and, um, that's it."

I wanted to scream. But I didn't. I just coerced more information out of her. She eventually told me that she had been through several relationships (most of which didn't end well), and that she was really shy and not good at talking to people she had never seen. Hey, I was flattered; I mean, she had never met me in person and she was just chatting away. I like this girl a lot.

So to you people who have nothing better to do than read other peoples' blogs:

SALUD!